Gotta say it, I've really missed you guys. Writing in my little cave just isn't as interesting when I don't have you with me. I hope you're looking forward to this next round as much as I am. WEBSITE: As you can see, we did a little fixing up around here. I hope you like the changes. It's a cleaner feel and should run smoother. If you see anything that needs fixin', let me know. BROKEN: I wrapped up the first draft of Broken over the weekend. If you're on Beta Team 1, expect the manuscript in your inbox later this week, then Team 2 should have it in about two weeks. Now that that's done, on to the next! THE NEXT BOOK: Those of you who are part of the private Facebook group know that I've had this idea for a post-apocalyptic book in my head. It won't go away, so I figured, let's run with it. This round we'll be working on The Patriot Protocol. Rather than give away the plot, I'll let you experience it in realtime. Don't worry, no zombies or ghouls in this one. Just a "What If" scenario, that I'll try to keep as reality-centered as I usually do. If this ain't your cup of tea, I understand, but I would ask that you check it out for a couple chapters. As my mother used to say, You Never Know Until You Try It :) I'll be posting as I have chapters complete, so some days you won't hear from me. Lucky for you, that means longer chapters. Without further ado, let's get started... (CAUTION: The following contains unedited material that may be unsuitable for the grammatically inclined. Keep in mind that I don’t review what I write until after the first draft of the whole novel is done, so please keep your spelling and grammar fixes until the Beta Reader rounds.) PrologueThe Tennessee Zone
Year 2057 I shot the first one in the face. I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t how I’d been trained. Center mass. Always center mass. It gives you the greatest chance of hitting your target, the head the smallest. So when the first bullet exploded out of back of the intruder’s head, I adjusted my aim and shot him twice in the chest. Probably didn’t need to, but it was habit. The dead’s man’s accomplice, all arms the size of tree trunks and belly like a barrel, raised his rifle to shoot. I felt the bullet whiz by my head. It was that close, like a bumble bee doing a fly by. My first shot didn’t miss, and neither did my second. He took the rounds in the chest with wide eyes, like he was thinking, “How the hell did I just get shot?” Really? How could he think that? He came into my house, where I try and keep my wife and three kids safe, and he has the balls to think, no assume, that he might not get shot? I shot him again, the old anger palpable now. It tasted like iron nails in my mouth, the sedentary me gone for the briefest moment. I watched the second intruder squirm for a moment, my pistol always aimed should he be stupid enough to raise his weapon at me or my family again. The movement in front of me stopped. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. I counted deliberately, another old habit. My breathing slowed, the adrenaline sap leaving me a couple levels drained. That’s when I remembered they were there, my two oldest. It had been my daughter’s scream that brought me running, and now when I turned to face them, she stared at me with blank eyes, shock pure and simple. I wanted to run to her and hold her beautiful face against my chest, but I decided to give her a moment. This was a new reality, much worse than before, and in my mind I knew that she would come to deal with it in her own way. My sweet child, the innocent one who took offense at even the most childish slight. Most days she was nine going on nineteen, but now she looked ever bit her age. Then there was my son, all boy at almost seven years of age. He clung to his sister, not because he needed to, but because he somehow sensed that she did. He stared at me with a mixture of awe and trepidation, like he wanted to ask me what I was thinking or what I was feeling. He was always asking that sort of thing. Funny really. I called him my little professor. Now they came to me, tentatively at first, and then running. My daughter didn’t let go of my neck, and my son stroked my back, as if I was the one needing consoling. I smiled despite the dead a couple feet away. We were safe for the moment, and I inhaled them like the first time, when I’d marveled at their tiny toes and fingers in the delivery room. How I wished I could go back to that world, when safety was a given, and nights weren’t spent with a gun at my side, listening to the light snores of the children sleeping a few feet away. But those days were gone, swept away by the violence that now threatened to envelop us again. I kiss my children on the head, lightly, like they might break. If I could only keep them alive for another day.
46 Comments
Neill Woodward Sr
2/15/2016 08:24:51 am
Great way to start a new book. Can't wait for more.
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Mike scharring
2/15/2016 08:32:05 am
Excellent start. I'm not much on doomsday books but I get the sense that yours is going to be different. Can't wait to read it thru and ttru
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Karen Lee
2/15/2016 08:38:41 am
Welcome back Carlos! I have missed you and the team!
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Faye Godwin
2/15/2016 08:41:38 am
Love the beginning. I am hooked already, more, more please.
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Rebecca Wall
2/15/2016 08:55:24 am
Way to start the book! I cast wait to read the next chapter. You definitely left me wanting more!
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Cheryl
2/15/2016 08:57:02 am
Arrgh - not because there's anything wrong, just because I want more! Seconding my friends above: Great start! Rarely does a book of this genre give evidence of being so in tune with the gamut of emotions you seem to express so effortlessly. Looking forward to the next installment - we've missed you too!
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Bob
2/15/2016 08:58:48 am
Welcome back! What a great way to start my week!
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Kathy
2/15/2016 09:04:35 am
Welcome back Carlos! I'm not much for post apocalyptic stories, but I'm giving it a try. I have to admit the beginning has me intrigued. Looking forward to the next entry.
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Terry Sullivan
2/15/2016 09:19:05 am
I, too am not usually an apocalypse fan; but that's because I'm not a particular fan of zombees, etc. So faff
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Susan
2/15/2016 09:23:28 am
Can't wait.for the rest. It's been a long time.
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2/15/2016 09:24:42 am
Great start!! I've been reading other stuff just to pass the time. Looking forward to another REAL adventure with YOU!!!
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G. Younger
2/15/2016 09:25:04 am
Hmm..maybe I WILL like the apocalyptic genre! This prologue certainly grabbed my attention!
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G. Younger
2/15/2016 09:28:34 am
And...it is terrific seeing someone willing to step out and try something new. I am happy to see you writing this!
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Vin
2/15/2016 09:30:29 am
You have established that we have a very protective and caring father. We know little else about him and I find it interesting that the mother was not mentioned.
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Lily
2/15/2016 09:44:41 am
Great opening.....it really grabs attention. It begs so many question that I feel compelled to read more.
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2/15/2016 09:45:22 am
You are now an official "tease". Great start, but not enough. Please, I need my fix, more, more, and MORE!
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SC
2/15/2016 10:04:26 am
Nice beginning. Agree with need for back story on family, where's mom; also for apocalypse.
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debbie
2/15/2016 10:09:19 am
Write faster please...
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Ralph Kurtzman
2/15/2016 10:33:07 am
Very glad to see that a new book was in the works. Even with this very short introduction to the story, I'm hooked. At some point dad is going to teach his little ones how to handle situations...'stranger danger' drills.
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Laura
2/15/2016 10:37:50 am
Great to have you back Carlos and I'm glad to see the group as well. Missed everyone during the break. Looking forward to checking out the changes to the website after my note.
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AlexH
2/15/2016 11:10:38 am
Welcome back, Carlos!
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Jules
2/15/2016 11:43:34 am
Great Opening.
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Vin
2/16/2016 05:39:51 am
Jules, unless Carlos has changed his preference it will be a Springfield XD and probably .45 ACP.
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Mark
2/15/2016 02:22:27 pm
Welcome back Carlos, I missed our daily installments and all the comments from our family of readers.
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Judy Stone
2/15/2016 03:50:30 pm
Started off with a bang, I see. Welcome back, Carlos. Looking forward to reading more.
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CGC
2/17/2016 12:11:03 pm
The join now was on the old site, but more prominent on this version. You can always scroll down.
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Tory Shade
2/15/2016 04:42:17 pm
Ditto what everyone else said. Am so glad we're back into this. My husband will be glad that I can now pry myself loose from my orgy of rereading old sci fi series. (grin) Agree with Judy on the initial confusion of "Join Now". I didn't even see the "down arrow" myself. I just happened to notice the slide elevator button indicating there was a lot more below the first screen. Can't wait for more.
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Peg Kelly
2/15/2016 05:10:47 pm
Welcome back Carlos. As my teammates have said great
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Welcome back Carlos....everybody missed you! How much more on target can you get! Security is the first and last concern of everybody in the U.S.A. And 2016 being an election year with our open borders and a group of political morons what better subject to write about. GO FOR IT...try not to scare the wits out of everybody.
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Sandy K
2/15/2016 06:35:24 pm
A very good start. Looking forward to the next chapter.
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Richard Ahern
2/15/2016 07:52:54 pm
Welcome back, Sir.
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CaryLory
2/15/2016 07:59:11 pm
In the year 2027 --- wouldn't the intruders know to wear Kevlar or whatever in 2027?
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Ron (Andie's husband)
2/15/2016 08:15:28 pm
Where's mom; is she in picture but not introduced.
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Andie
2/15/2016 08:21:06 pm
Carlos,
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Mitchie
2/15/2016 09:23:48 pm
Great starter. Readers already know that there is more exciting stuff to come. Keep them coming!! i love post apocalyptic books!
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Collette
2/15/2016 09:52:18 pm
Welcome back Carlos. I like the new look.
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Teresa
2/15/2016 11:44:21 pm
Wing ding of a start! I love this genre. Dare to go there all in. Glad you are back, have greatly missed you.
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Anne
2/16/2016 09:10:59 am
A good prologue should grab the reader making him ready to turn the page before he's finished the prologue!! My finger was ready, but ..... First chapter, please!!!
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Tory Shade
2/16/2016 10:04:19 am
Second thoughts...just wondering on the choice of date for the prologue. ...only 10+ years in the future. On the one hand, considering how much technology has changed our lives in such a short period of time, 10 years is a long time. On the other hand, I've read so much over the years that I frequently run across the odd feeling one gets when reading (or rereading) an older book with specific dates that were in the future when the story written, but are now well in the past. In some ways it detracts from the author's story, because you get this immediate dissonance and also the urge to analyze what parts did the author get "right" and what parts did the author get "wrong". (Think "1984" as the most obvious example.) However, I guess I feel it only matters if you are writing the story as warning/commentary on potential disasters in social/political/economic/scientific-technological realms and not just writing a story for pure entertainment in an environment you wish to explore - with no particular morals/lessons/predictions embedded. (grin) So do we get an explanation in the story of why only 10+ years in the future? Can't wait to see whether we get any kind of "This is why the mess started and how it could have been avoided." or whether the causes will it be sort of mentioned in passing "Well, it was a big mess. TWAWKI (the world as we knew it) blew up and here we are just trying to survive." with the important parts of the story moving from there. Also wondering what type of prologue this one was. Some are just days in the past of the main story and others are decades/centuries in the past. So, the main character could be the Dad or it could be one of the kids grown to an adult or it could be just setting the "atmosphere" of what life is like in the new survival mode or NOTA (none of the above). Guess I'm in full speculation mode since I'm dying of curiosity. (grin)
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Marsha
2/16/2016 01:06:08 pm
I like the new web page with one exception.....the grey text. Makes it kind of hard for my old eyes to read it, but it looks good! I like the way you started the story. I had to remind myself after reading the first paragraph that it's not a Corps Justice book. After I reminded myself of that, I was fine. The start has a good hook to it and this is a genre I love to read. Since the first chapter was vague (and I feel like you meant it to be that way) I won't try and speculate because I usually find that the lack of details come in the next couple of chapters.
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Tory Shade
2/16/2016 06:28:51 pm
Christy...just go to Facebook.com and login with your own password and ID (or register and create an account). Then, at the blank search box at the top left of the screen type in Team Corps Justice. When you see Carlos' page come up, click on it and then find the button that says "Join Group". You should get a reply and be able to join in after that.
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Susan H
2/16/2016 06:30:41 pm
Very interesting start that brings up a lot of questions...like how did we get to this point, etc. Can't wait to get all of them answered in the upcoming chapters.
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Warren R Madsen
2/17/2016 08:16:56 am
Cool! I like it. Waiting patiently for more. But only because I am so far behind in my reading ....
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Pam
2/18/2016 05:17:55 pm
So glad you are back, have. Missed your books. You are off to s great start
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