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Chain of Command: Chapter 14

1/13/2015

19 Comments

 
Well, after a wonderful week with my wife, we finally returned home after enduring a 40-hr trek home thanks to a cancelled flight and multiple delays. (I was really happy to be back on U.S. soil) Add to that, yesterday morning, this stubborn Marine was smart enough to listen to his wife and go to the walk-in clinic where I promptly tested positive for the flu. The rest of the day I spent in bed shivering. Fun times that I don't recommend for any of you:)

But I'm on the mend and happy to get back to our story. I'll ease in considering my still fuzzy brain, but my deadline for January 31st still stands. I hope you all had a wonderful first quarter of January. I sense good things happening for 2015. Let's see how we can make it even better...
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  (CAUTION: The following contains unedited material that may be unsuitable for the grammatically inclined. Keep in mind that I don’t review what I write until after the first draft of the whole novel is done, so please keep your spelling and grammar fixes until the Beta Reader rounds.) 

Chapter 14

Montego Bay, Jamaica
1:34pm, December 7th


Rear Admiral Joseph Gower nodded to the Jamaican customs agent who looked as bored as anyone he’d ever encountered. It made him wondered how diligent their screening process really was. Then again, who was trying to bring illegal substances into Jamaica?

He grabbed his civilian passport from the counter and made his way to the Sandals lounge. A bubbly concierge named Martha greeted him and ushered him inside where she said he could have his pick of complimentary snacks, soda and Red Stripe beer on tap. He would’ve loved even a flimsy plastic glass of beer, but he opted for a bottle of water instead.

Five minutes later, his date arrived, taking in the lounge like a child seeing Mickey Mouse for the first time.

“It’s so pretty!” she exclaimed as she set her carry-on bag next to him and kissed him on the cheek. “I won’t even ask what you paid for all this.”

Gower shrugged as if it didn’t matter and that nothing was too good for her. In fact, he hadn’t plunked down a nickel for the trip. The man he was supposed to be meeting face-to-face for the first time had insisted he come.

The Navy admiral had at first refused, citing work as an excuse, when in reality he really just couldn’t picture himself on the impoverished island. Although he didn’t come from money, Gower appreciated the things that money bought. He believed that America was a shining example of that fact. Go to most U.S. metropolitan areas and you’d find clean street and a safe environment. It was one of the reasons he’d gone into the service, to preserve that way of life.

He had friends who paid ungodly amounts of money to visit places like Africa, Haiti and Vietnam. Gower had always preferred to stay in the continental U.S. enjoying the luxuries that his service to his country had bought.

But then he’d mentioned the proposed trip to his current girlfriend Nancy, a fifty-year-old administrative assistant who worked at the Pentagon. She was attracted to his position and he, well, he was attracted to the prospect of an occasional roll in the hay. The trip was all Nancy had talked about for the last week. He was sure it would lead to much hay-rolling.

Their names were called and a porter led them out to a waiting oversized van as he pushed a cart overflowing with luggage. Once he’d ensured his own bags were tucked neatly in the back of the vehicle, Gower boarded the mini-bus that was thankfully blasting cold air from overhead vents. He sat down next to Nancy who was gabbing away with another middle-aged woman a row back. He smiled and tried to seem sociable, but was glad when they started moving as it turned Nancy back to the task at hand.

Her hand rested on his leg and he briefly imagined her topless.

“Aren’t you excited, Joe? I swear if I hadn’t stopped by the ladies’ room that I might just pee in my pants.”

“I’m glad you like it,” he said. “Only the best for you.”

She kissed him on the cheek and then turned to look out the window with wonder. Gower imagined what she must be seeing. All he could take in was the contrast to the U.S. It reminded him of the couple times he’d visited Tijuana as brand new ensign. Trash littered the streets and natives just seemed to be hanging out for no better reason than they had now other place to be. There were even multiple signs advertising personal security services as they drove away from the airport. What did that say for the state of the small island nation? Gower was glad they’d soon be ensconced in they all-inclusive resort.



An hour later, they were over halfway to their destination in Ochos Rios. The driver asked his passengers whether they’d like to stop to use restrooms up ahead.

“Discovery Bay is just up the hill,” he announced. “It is where Christopher Columbus first discovered Jamaica.”

There were impressed murmurs from some of the other passengers, but Gower wanted to roll his eyes. He resisted the urge and raised his hand instead.

“I wouldn’t mind stopping for a quick bathroom break,” he said.

There was a barely concealed groan from someone in the back, but he ignored it.

The request didn’t dampen the driver’s spirits. “All good, mon. One minute.”



Two minutes later, Gower stepped off the bus and made a bee-line for the restroom. After relieving himself, he took a circuitous route back to his ride and found a spot overlooking Discovery Bay. It was nothing too impressive in his opinion. They’d made sort of any open-air museum in tribute to Columbus’s landing, complete with a replica wooden ship’s bow that allowed visitors to take in the view of the bay below.

He made his way there and was soon joined by another man who seemed consumed with taking pictures of the vista.

Without stopping what he was doing, the man said, “Look on the ground against the wooden railing.”

Gower did as instructed and found a small paper brown shopping bag. He picked it up and inspected the contents. There were a couple Jamaican baubles along with two bottles of water and an envelope.

He looked up from his perusal but the man with the camera had already moved on. Gower ripped open the sealed envelope and smiled at the stack of traveler’s checks. Under the money were instructions for the next day’s meeting. While he understood the need for the secrecy, he wondered if his host was taking things too far.

Gower wouldn’t question it though. The thousands in his hands were a tiny crumb compared to where things were headed. If his new friend wanted to play spy, so be it. As long as he kept his promises, the career Navy man would go along. After all, what were a few meaningless games and a trip overseas compared to millions flowing into your bank account?



I NEED YOUR IDEAS: I've commissioned by designer to come up with a cover for another Daniel Briggs installment to follow Adrift. The sample is below. I need your help to come up with a title, preferably one or two words. Premise is similar to Daniel's first book: in another small town, struggling with his demons when he stumbles on a local conspiracy. Give me your ideas in the Comments section below.
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19 Comments
Jim Guthrie
1/13/2015 05:32:17 am

I'm loving the book cover you and Fiona came up with!

I hope your next trip goes better than this past one!

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Vin
1/13/2015 05:47:12 am

Not much input on the chapter. It is another bridge to an important part of the story and didn't have much impact.

Book Cover
Just my 2 cents but that face looks more evil then I picture Briggs. In my mind he has been an average looking guy who normally wouldn't be noticed in a crowd unless you crossed him. Then he could glare with intensity that would make even the most confident hard case give second thought to messing with him, but I have never seen him as evil looking.

For a book name I'm thinking something that is related to the word "Adrift" but more related to what you want the message of the story to be.

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Teresa Anderson
1/13/2015 05:56:58 am

I like the cover and saw it more as he bleeds red white and blue.
For a title like Vin I too was thinking along the lines as adrift. How about ANCHORLESS as Daniel does not have anything to hold him in one place.
Just my 2 cents.

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Neill Woodward Sr
1/13/2015 06:14:11 am

Story is heading in the right direction.Just wondering why people want to get rid of the Corps. As tot he pic on the book it looks kind of sinister to me. I think something lost or moving aimlessly would look better. but that is just me.

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Laura
1/13/2015 06:55:08 am

Welcome back and I hope you are feeling better. Not much to say about the chapter.

I like the flag on the cover. When I think of Daniel he is about God, country and honor. His journey has been rough but I don't see a rough exterior to Daniel. To me lost, rough and in pain can all be healed, evil can not. The face seems evil to me.

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Karen Lee
1/13/2015 08:08:46 am

CG...get well soon...great foundation in today's chapter...I am sure you have a roller coaster ride awaitin for us...for the title of the book....MACHINATIONS....plays to the workings of the mind and the workings of a conspiracy.

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Mark
1/13/2015 08:36:00 am

How about, ON TARGET, for the book name, just a thought. The chapter is a good set-up for what's coming.
Glad you had a good anniversary and some time away.

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Judy Stone
1/13/2015 08:38:23 am

This flu is a butt-kicker. After six weeks, I'm getting better. Still coughing up a lung, but better!

As for the cover...it's creepy. The flag motif is fine. I agree with Laura, the dead eyes and twisted lips are evil. The man looks like someone with malignant narcissism (Wikipedia: malignant narcissism is a psychological syndrome comprising an extreme mix of narcissism, antisocial personality disorder, aggression, and sadism). Daniel deserves better cover art. Something noble and honorable. Please, make it so.

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Marsha
1/13/2015 09:06:06 am

Good building block chapter. No idea on what to name the book. After I read what you had to say I thought of the obvious....Local Conspiracy or just Conspiracy.

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Sandy K
1/13/2015 09:18:27 am

Hope you are feeling better! Good basic chapter to set the stage for the next encounter. I also find the cover a little creepy and not quite the way I'd pictured Daniel. As for a title, perhaps " Target Acquired".

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G. Younger
1/13/2015 10:02:35 am

Interesting chapter. Thanks. I missed the daily entertainment. So glad you and your wife are home safely, and hope you continue to feel better!

I like the red,white, and blue on the book cover. However, the man's face looks quite different than I imagined Daniel would look. I thought Daniel would look rather stoic. This guy looks mean.

I am excited about Adrift 2. Here are some possible title ideas: "At Loose Ends," "Astray," "Off Course," "The Marksman"

Hopefully, your family will avoid the flu!

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Kathryn Andresen
1/13/2015 10:45:15 am

Carlos,

Love the newest character and am excited about where we will be taken on this ride.

For Daniel's picture you could have the eyes showing through the flag and delete the lower half. He has a great nose and eyes. Then create a title that represents gained knowledge learned from a journey well travelled. Road Less Travelled from Robert Frost describes Daniel perfectly.

Get well, glad you are back! Thanks for writing.

Kathy A

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Dallin S
1/13/2015 11:32:59 am

Hope you get better soon, as no one likes the flu...
As far as the chapter goes, it looks great, as it ends with the reader wanting more.

For the cover of the second book about Briggs, you should make make Daniel look less evil, and instead of using the American flag, use the MoH, as he was the only one in Cal's crusade that earned one, as well as us having learned he earned it in Adrift.

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Vin
1/13/2015 12:06:08 pm

After taking another hard look at the cover I see a few points that bothered me. 1) I like the idea of the flag but the white side makes it look like someone is in a dark room and holding a flashlight up to their face. I think that is were the evil I saw came from. 2) The eyes have a sort of evil squint to them and 3) the nose is too broad.

Daniel Briggs is quiet, calm, and stoic. This guy on the cover is not. Hey, I know we all have our own visions of what these characters look like but this cover is nothing at all Iike the Daniel Briggs I've come to know.

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Susan
1/13/2015 12:14:45 pm

Welcome back! Sounds like you had an interesting end to your anniversary trip. Interesting chapter. Not sure where you are going with this excursion with Gower but hope it gives us some more clues as to why they want to get rid of the Corps (other than getting rich).

As to the cover, it kind of creeps me out. Instead of looking like an alpha male hero figure he looks more like a sinister serial killer.

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G.Younger
1/13/2015 08:21:40 pm

I wish to revisit the book cover. After posting last evening, l decided to reread ADRIFT. There was a sinister side to Daniel. Remember his taking out the rich family and their goons that were terrorizing a community? It is amost like Daniel morphed into a super killing machine. But, remember, he killed only really bad guys. Even then, l was rooting for him. Is this the Daniel you were trying to capture in the book cover?

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CGC
1/13/2015 09:11:32 pm

Bingo. I'll fully explain before the next chapter.

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Vin
1/14/2015 10:01:29 pm

Many of the people who will purchase this, or any book, may not have ever read the previous books in a given series. I know that when I'm scanning the book offerings on Amazon it is often the cover that grabs me first. I have passed over many books because the cover didn't grab my interest.

With that said and if I didn't know anything about your stories I would not buy this new book based only on that cover. I don't know how many other people base their initial book selections on the cover but I'd take one look at that face and wouldn't even take the time to read the book description. I'm sure I miss a lot of great books because of covers that don't grab me but that is just the way it is.

Cooper, it's your book, your cover, your decision but you have asked us for our opinions... read the opinions offered here and I think you will find that the vast majority of those who offered an opinion have an issue with the face on the cover. Knowing the writer and the story line I'll purchase this book no matter what the cover looks like, but how many potential newcomers to the Corps Justice family won't be attracted by this cover.

Matt
1/14/2015 04:41:41 am

Good transition! I am not sure about the cover.

Reply



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