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Chain of Command: Chapter 1

12/11/2014

33 Comments

 
NOTES: Surprise! We're back! After a much-deserved vacation, Disavowed Proofing/Editing and a couple unexpected trips, I'm back in the saddle. To tell you the truth, I wasn't even sure I was going to do this novel live. It's going to be a little tough during the holidays, but if you're in so am I.

THIS NOVEL
: I'm probably going to write about some uncomfortable topics this go-around. As you all know, no one is perfect, not even a Marine :) This story will delve into some of the issues our uniformed men and women deal with on a daily basis. I'm not sure where it'll lead, so hopefully you can help guide the ship.

GRAMMAR, ETC
: Due to the limited time at the end of the year I am not going to go back and read anything I've written until the very end. That means that your daily installments may be a bit more raw than you're used to. I hope you're good with that. If you want to chime in with grammar and typos suggestions, please save it for the beta reading after the first draft is complete. (big thanks to those who have proofed and are currently digging through Disavowed)

Okay. I'll shut up now and let you get to the story...
Picture
  (CAUTION: The following contains unedited material that may be unsuitable for the grammatically inclined) 

DRAFT Book blurb:

A new Marine Commandant...
An insidious threat to his beloved service...
Cal Stokes steps back in uniform...

The new Commandant of the Marine Corps is worried. Not only is he dealing with a shrinking service, a tightening budget and a war-weary nation, he's also just found out that there's an even bigger threat, a mounting menace that could tear the mighty Marine Corps apart from within. The Commandant calls on Cal Stokes and his team of former Marines to re-enter the Corps in order to root out the threat before it's too late.

Chapter 1

Disney Yacht Club Resort
Lake Buena Vista, Florida
10:37am, December 3rd


A refreshing breeze blew in across the small lake that separated the Disney Yacht Club Resort from Epcot and the Boardwalk retail strip. The low seventy-degree morning did little to dissuade the grandkids from building mountains and forts in the hotel’s sand filled swimming pool. The 3-acre water paradise was like a magnet drawing in every kid who clamored on their parent’s bedside whenever the sun came up.

He watched his four grandsons and one granddaughter as they switched from building to destruction. The youngest, Lily, boisterous with her blonde curls and swim diaper stuffed swimsuit, squealed as her brothers and cousins smashed and swept their creations away.

He smiled as they played, savoring each moment. Their had been too many lost moments over the years. Some were inevitable, some self-imposed.

His hand reached over and touched his wife’s leg. She was engrossed in the latest Danielle Steel novel, seemingly not noticing the goings-on in the pool. But he knew better. She was a good mom, a terrific grandmother. She could hear a cry from across the house or detect danger as it was happening. Like so many military wives, she’d learned to adapt, to play the role of mother and father while her husband was away.

Without looking away from her book, she set her hand on top of his. It wasn’t as smooth as it used to be, or as soft as the first time he’d felt it, but he loved it just the same. If the past month had taught him anything it was that family was important, possibly most important.

It hadn’t been easy. His two sons had grown up on bases all over the world, following him as he climbed the ranks. He understood their bitterness. They’d never had a home, always traveling, always moving.

But things were better now. He’d made an effort to reconnect where in the past he probably would have buried himself in work. He wouldn’t take the credit though. It was his wife who’d finally given him the ultimatum.

She’d dealt with the missteps, the infidelity, the open-ended deployments, but she drew the line at her family.

“You’re about to lose them,” she’d said, that hard Southern edge he’d come to associate with her mother. “You either fix this or I leave.”

They’d railed back and forth. He told her that he was doing it all for her even though he knew just as the words left his mouth that it wasn’t true. He loved the uniform, the challenge. He thought that maybe after a day or two she would back down, see the error of her demands.

But she hadn’t and he was glad for it.

They’d been in Florida for almost a week. Breakfasts in bed or a lobster omelet at the Captain’s Grille. During the day they’d traversed the Magic Kingdom and worn out the rides as the grandkids begged for the next amusement. Lily loved the Peter Pan ride. Grant preferred Thunder Mountain. At night they ate at the Beaches and Cream Soda Shop, sharing the enormous Kitchen Sink sundae for dessert. They hadn’t come close to finishing it.

While the kids napped, he corralled his sons and spent the time getting to know them again. His oldest was a school teacher, soon to be principal. The second was back in school getting his law degree after a disappointing run as a financial planner. Neither had followed him into the service, and now he knew why.

For years he’d been bitter of that fact. They were both fit, gifted athletes. They would’ve done well. Instead they’d taken after their mother, gone the liberal route, often taunting him with their politics.
He didn’t care anymore. His wife was right. All that mattered was that they were together at last. One family.



The kids were changed and the adults were trying to herd them into the jogging strollers. Lily was the only one cooperating, a fact that made him smile. He bent down and hugged her, receiving a wet kiss on the nose in response.

“I love you, Grapa,” she said.

“I love you too, sweetie.”

He kissed her on the forehead.

“So we’ll meet you at the French cafe in an hour,” his wife said, stuffing snacks in her purse.

“I’ll see you then,” he replied.

“Are you sure you won’t come with us now?” she asked, her tone clearly indicating what she thought about his other commitment.

“It won’t be long, honey, I promise.”

It was a lie, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“Okay. Don’t forget to put on some sunscreen,” she instructed.

He nodded and then kissed her on the lips, moving in for a hug. He savored the smell of mint shampoo and the perfume he’d bought for her the day before. In that moment he realized how much he loved her, how much he needed her. He couldn’t let go.

“Um, honey, the kids are leaving,” she said.

“Right.”

He let her go and stepped back, smiling.

“Love you, honey.”

She smiled back and took off after her family.

He watched them go.

When they’d finally made it over the bridge leading into the international entrance of Epcot, he turned and headed back to the room.



He emerged five minutes later and headed out the front entrance, nodding to the greeter in his ship’s captain uniform. The prayer came to him as he walked, a snippet remembered from some long ago sermon.

Lord, forgive my thoughts, my actions and my words.

Before he knew it he was surrounded by prickly palmettos and towering pines. The busy roadways were far behind. He had no idea how long it had taken him to walk to where he now stopped.

There’d been a lot of hikes over the years. Back-breaking rucksacks and sweat filled boots. Sweat and blood. He and his his men, one foot in front of the other.

He thought of it now with with nostalgic reverence as he fell to his knees, the emotion threatening to overwhelm his resolve. Images of his wife, his sons, his grandkids floated in front of him. Then came his men who had died, given their lives for their country, for the brother standing next to him.

He took a deep breath and reached into his pocket. It was time.

The Assistant Commandant of the Marine Corps put the barrel of the Colt 1911 in his mouth, and pulled the trigger.

Comments? Questions? Concerns? Tell me in the COMMENTS section below.

33 Comments
Alex McAllister
12/11/2014 02:27:17 am

Holy crap! What a way to start a book! Need more now!

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Carol
12/11/2014 02:34:39 am

Dear Lord! I am already in tears!

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John
12/11/2014 02:39:41 am

this is going to be tough for us guys with similiar life experience. may we struggle together and make this the best one yet.

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CGC
12/11/2014 03:04:30 am

Amen.

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Jerry Lovett
12/11/2014 02:58:19 am

Man, this one starting off with a bang. Very interesting already?

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Neill Woodward Sr
12/11/2014 03:35:31 am

Omg what a way to start. This is going to be 1 hell of a ride.

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Laura
12/11/2014 03:44:00 am

Holy Cow! Nothing like jumping in with both feet. I know it is the Marine way but WOW! It looks like we are going to have one heck of a ride with this book.

I'm not sure yet how I feel about the location that was chosen for this act to happen. Most of those around me in the military feel that family is everything, especially when everything else around them is crazy with wars, drawdown, etc. so I'm not sure if the military member would leave Disney as the last thought in the families mind. The family would have a hard time ever going back there. Disney is one place a lot of military members use to bring families back together especially after deployments.

Maybe it is just me and Disney. It has helped my military family many times so it holds a special place with me. A different location same story would be even better for me.

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sue conger
12/11/2014 04:11:32 am

Love this beginning

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G.Younger
12/11/2014 04:45:11 am

Mr. Cooper!!! Golly,gee whiz...and whoa Nellie! What a beginning! You have our attention, sir!

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Christy link
12/11/2014 04:59:21 am

Carlos:

Wow! What an amazing start. It's great how you are touching on some topics military men and women go through. I think sometimes people can be oblivious to their struggles. Can't wait to read more!

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david
12/11/2014 05:16:44 am

Will be interesting to read the history behind his decision.

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Wanda
12/11/2014 05:35:33 am

Holy Moley, great start. Can't say much that others haven't already said. Looking forward to more.

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Aileen
12/11/2014 05:47:00 am

Wow. Quite a start to a book. Would like to hear more about his story and what lead him to this.

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Vin
12/11/2014 06:36:49 am

Many of us who read Cooper's stories "have been there" in one way or another. We've had to deploy and leave family behind. We would often rationalize about doing it for the country and patriotism and keeping our country and family safe but there is always that factor of doing it because it is something we love. In some ways we love it even more than we love our family or we wouldn't have done it. I did it for 22+ years and Cooper could have been writing my thoughts as the Assistant Commandant looked at his grandchildren and thought about all he'd missed over the years.

I can tell this story is going to be something worth working on and it just may bring up some old pain and self-recriminations. Well, it has already.

What would cause the Assistant Commandant of the Marine Corps to take his own life? A few years ago a Navy Admiral took his own life and we are to believe it was because he was wearing an award he hadn't earned and the news media caught it. I'm sure this is going to be much more interesting and more to it than an unearned personal award. It's not going to be something simple and you can bet this story is going to be an "E ticket ride" (couldn't help but get that Disneyland reference in there even if most of you don't know what it means).

Great start!

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CGC
12/11/2014 07:49:22 am

And here, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons I love what I do. Thanks, Vin.

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Kathryn Andresen
12/11/2014 06:47:42 am

OMG on many levels. Super start and attention getting, certainly. This book will be deeper and perhaps darker than the others. The Marine Corps must be in serious trouble for this to occur. Glad the boys are getting back in uniform. Thank you for allowing us one more opportunity before 2015.

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Sandy K
12/11/2014 09:00:47 am

Wow! Right out of the gate, we'd better buckle up for a rough ride.

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Judy Stone
12/11/2014 10:04:08 am

Great start, but disturbing that you chose Walt Disney World Resort. I'm sure there's an excellent reason, but holy smokes!
1) Reconnect with kids and grandkids--check!
2) Relax in a family-friendly resort--check!
3) Deepen relationship with loving spouse--check!
4) Blow brains out--check!

Wow, Carlos! You know how to get our attention. When's chapter 2 coming?

Reply
Marsha
12/11/2014 10:16:14 am

Heart broken already. I don't know why he felt the need to do that, but I do know that for a lot of soldiers that return from war and are suddenly thrust back into "the real world" after leaving the military jobs they had for so long they have a hard time adjusting because they do not have the comradeship and the tight knit feeling of family they had in the military, not to mention seeing and doing the things that are required of war. (which those of us that have never "been there, done that" could ever understand) In my time as a funeral director, I've seen so much pain and suffering and living close to Fort Hood and working in Killeen I've seen so much experienced by the military families. So much suicide in not only the men and women that return from deployments, but in their families as well.

Sorry, didn't mean to ramble on. It just touched a special place in my heart.

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CGC
12/11/2014 10:49:23 am

Impossible to ramble here, Marsha. Thanks for your thoughts :)

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Susan
12/11/2014 11:35:32 am

Very interesting and unusual start. I'm not sure I like this chapter setting of "the happiest place on earth". But it does make a more powerful impact because of it. I can already see that this is going to be a darker and more emotional book.

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CaryLory link
12/11/2014 01:13:20 pm

E ticket for sure (I remember). Just seems that suicide with his family and esp. grand-kids is pretty cruel for them at this vacation family together time.
All the more for the readers to hang in there -- more please!!!

Reply
Jackie Cooper
12/11/2014 02:33:43 pm

Just a 3 letter word that doesn't begin to cover it, but WOW. I love your books and thought they couldn't get any better, but they always do. The way this one starts, tis could be the best one yet. Having done 20 years and a couple short overseas tours myself one to Vietnam and the other to Korea as a career Enlisted Air Force troop, I too missed out on a lot of family time. But I don't think I could do the multi tours that our service personnel have to do in today's military. I can't imagine the strain it has on the individual and their family. I can't ask God to bless them enough for all they do, but I try every day asking him watch over them. It's a shame our young people look to all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons as heroes, when all they have to is look to someone in uniform, regardless of it's color. Because they are the role models we should honor above all others. Okay, I've vented enough, thanks for the exciting start to this new book. I'm looking forward to every work. Semper Fi and God Bless.

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CGC
12/12/2014 12:16:35 am

Ditto :)

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Len Powell
12/12/2014 03:06:58 am

Can't add much to what others have said, but we are definitely HOOKED and looking forward to More!!!

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Don Hoffman
12/12/2014 10:46:51 am

Carlos,

The goal of every author is to catch the attention of his reader as soon as possible, to make him wonder "why", and to entice him to continue reading.

There is no question that you have satisfied that goal! Great start, let's tighten up all the straps, hook up to the static line, and let 'er rip!

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Ronald Cook
12/12/2014 01:45:11 pm

GREAT START!! Did not expect the ending. Keep up the great work.

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Chuck O'Malley link
12/14/2014 05:19:13 am

The previous comments are so much on target.

I guess I'm coming at it from a different perspective, as a little over two years ago, our son, a former ALL-SEC nose guard at the University of Mississippi, took his life as a result of the many concussions he had received. I can't help but dread the impact the Assistant Commandant's action will have on his family.

What drove him to it will be interesting to find out. This chapter has a jolting effect.

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Jean Zook
12/15/2014 06:13:49 am

Wow and ugh I love it and I hate it! I realize it's a story that needs to be told but it honestly makes my belly feel sick. Having read your other books I am counting on you too bring this to a conclusion that makes this Mom of a Marine rest a limitless easier.

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Sonya Grob
12/28/2014 10:51:59 am

Wow! We're off and running!! You've got my attention!

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Peggy Allen
12/31/2014 04:34:45 am

First mistake- Disney does not do e-tickets anymore. okay. well. there are no e-tickets at disney, it is now fast pass tickets at disney. They got rid of the e-tickets. You go to different booths now and get times. It is linked to a wrist band or your entrance ticket. You can buy a wrist band that has your entrance ticket codes in it. You can do 3 fast passes per entrance ticket. Once you do one ride, you can go to these booths around the park and sign up for another. These fast passes are automated now with no tickets. They started this as a beta test the first week of July 2014 when we were there and Disney no longer does e-tickets. Second, I think when he went back to where ever he was staying, and then had to walk to whereever you were sending him, he would have to get a car, as down there, to get to anywhere from walking distance, it is all land. No water near disney except the lakes in the park. So his walking confused me. He would have to catch a cab and drive for about 2 hours or so to get to water. The east side has ships and dockings with piers. The west side is more houses and resorts along the beach with hardly no piers at all from you are driving west from Disney Resort. Straight west is Treasure Island area and other areas, and it has a very wide beach of about 300 steps to the water, and you don't see much piers or boats. Big boats are on the east side, and you see docks there. You would have to drive from Disney to like the Nasa location on the east side of Florida. I think that is about 2 hours too to get there. Third, when I read this, it did not make sense to me. I think you need a coupon more regret lines that are emotional. Just a small amount of more hints. Like when you did the line about the wife and his affairs, maybe another line about not even doing phone calls or something. About not even writing, or pretending he did not even have a family so many times. Or something like that. As if he cut ties with them or something. It was like when you were writing, there wasn't a clear enough thought process of how he cut his family from his life. Also, when he reached into his pocket to pull out his gun, you would think he would be patting something on his body to make sure something was there for his wife to find. It does not make sense to kill yourself without leaving something on the body. Most people who kill themselves that are not at home do leave something on their body for others to find, even if it just a sentence that says I love you to the wife so they have it after their death. I know so many of your people that review this says it is wonderful, and I do like your writing style, but I think you need a few more emotional sentences to give the way the mind is thinking of the main character. You show what they are seeing, but you never write a paragraph on the emotional state. Like as he was walking to his death, he saw so much, but was he sad? depressed? Maybe when he pulls the gun out, he paused. It was just too fast. Maybe I am the wrong person to read this since I was trained on my Master Degree at Iowa University to talk someone out of killing themselves as a Social Worker. Normally there is not this fast of doing it. They normally take a minute or two of just maybe looking at the gun. Not normal to be this fast. Even if he pulled the gun out, checked the barrel, admired the gun, something more than just pulling it out and shooting. Normally there is always a pause of reflection. Oh well, at least this is giving you some input. Sorry I was late on reading this. I got behind on my emails. And my last thought to you, it was a fast read with a punch at the end. I like the way you write. I think you might want to say he had on his uniform with all his metals as normally in the military, if they are doing this, they are in their dress uniform with all metals on.

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CGC
12/31/2014 05:51:58 am

Thanks for the comments. A little clarification. You're partially right about the new ticketing system. I was there three weeks and got to experience it. Most people have the new wristbands but last minuters and some others still use paper tickets or plastic cards.

As for the water, there are a lot of hidden bodies of water in that area and within easy walking distance. Trust me, I checked :)

As for the other stuff, as you keep reading it'll make more sense.

Enjoy!

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Vin
12/31/2014 06:46:52 am

Peggy, I think you missed the point of the E ticket ride. I was the one who mentioned it (above) and for those who don't remember, when Disney Land first opened you didn't pay for admission but had to pay for each ride. A few months later they started selling ticket books which contained tickets for the rides. Rides ranged from "A" rides, the least exciting, to "E" rides which were the most interesting and/or exciting. It wasn't too long before the term, "An E ticket ride" became a metaphor for something very exciting. For what it's worth you are correct, Disney no longer sells ride tickets. They stopped selling ride ticket books in the early 80's.

I grew up about 20 miles from Disney Land and first went about a week after it first opened to the public, before they started selling the ticket books. Living that close we went a lot the first couple of years it was open and I liked the book format much better than paying for individual rides. Of course the best Disney deal was when I graduated from high school and we had "Grad Night at Disney Land". The park was closed to all but high school graduates until wee hours of the morning and all the rides were free. That was the best time I ever had at a Disney park.

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